WWJZD? Leadership Lessons Learned in Adversity

In Jay Z’s 2010 single, “Most Kings,” he muses in the chorus how most kings get their heads cut off. A dark thought, where Jay is reflecting on his own story and on the challenges (and challengers) when you’re at the top of the game. As I listen to his words, propped up by a Run-DMC sample, I ponder a broader meaning, considering the weight and complexity for anyone on top of their respective games, in positions of power and leadership. 

Leadership in business is an immense responsibility — a responsibility that only grows and intensifies as a business grows. For me, I know people are always counting on me, constantly looking to me for vision, direction, support and holding me accountable for the health and sustainability of the business, including people’s jobs and careers, people’s individual needs and livelihoods, culture, comfort, etc. They’re expecting me to make sound decisions and to do what’s right. To lead us from point A to point B, while simultaneously caring for everyone along the way, lifting our people up and staying one step ahead of the competition, so our success can continue into the future… and all the while I know I can’t possibly please everyone. I can’t provide for everyone’s needs. I can’t act on everyone’s feedback and ideas. I can’t even answer everyone’s questions. There’s only one me, and so many of them.

Most days it’s an incredible honor to lead. Some days it can be a big weight to carry . Especially when you sincerely care about what people think. In this way, it’s an impossible position. And in this, it’s easy to see how most kings get their heads cut off.

The first ever Pulitzer Prize Winner, journalist Herbert Bayard Swope Sr once said, “I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure, which is: Try to please everybody.” 

“I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure, which is: Try to please everybody.”  - Herbert Swope Sr.

This is an undeniable truth — something I’ve spent a lot of time absorbing over the years. I literally read and contemplate Swope’s words every single day. It’s part of my morning routine. And so rather than seek the approval and popularity of those whom I lead — I wake up every day and ask “Who am I? What is my purpose? What are my values? What will I do today? And what am I aiming to accomplish during my lifetime? When these things are clear, aligned, and in harmony — I’m the best, centered leader I can be. Pleasing everybody has no place in my life. It has no place in leadership.

One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned over the past year or so is that long term, perpetual success can lead to blind spots, apathy and over-confidence. As I’ve built my company over the past 8 years, I’ve had the great fortune to experience sustained growth and abundance over most of it. I’m embarrassed to say that until recently, we’ve never even had a mildly rough season to navigate. It’s all felt quite natural and organic. In some ways it’s been easy. It took me until right now to realize that this feeling — that peaceful, easy feeling — should be a red flag.

Over the past 24 months we’ve been able to finally make the jump from small company start-up mode to a more mature, grown-up place — making big strides in improving pay, benefits, flexibility and quality of life for our staff. We’ve been able to add more space and spread out a little bit. We’ve had sustained abundance, allowing us to add resources and staff-up in ways we’ve never done before. And while these things are fine and good on their own, what I’m learning right now in this moment is that a long, sustained season of abundance can actually mask a lot of problems and create some significant blind spots. Seemingly eternal success can fog decision making in leadership too. 

As I look in the mirror and consider the fantastic voyage I’ve been on for the past 8 years, I’ve suddenly become awake and aware that I’ve missed out on a lot of very important lessons — lessons that can only be learned through struggle and failure. Lessons I simply could not learn during such a long run of success. The truth is, I’ve allowed myself to get caught up in all of it a little too much..

Software pioneer, Fred Brooks once said, “You can learn more from failure than success. In failure you’re forced to find out what part did not work. But in success you can believe everything you did was great, when in fact some parts may not have worked at all. Failure forces you to face reality.” 

“You can learn more from failure than success. In failure you’re forced to find out what part did not work. But in success you can believe everything you did was great, when in fact some parts may not have worked at all. Failure forces you to face reality.” - Fred Brooks

Thank you, Fred. You’ve perfectly articulated the exact point I’ve been trying to solve.

When all of your performance metrics on the dashboard are glowing bright green and you’ve got the wind in your sails, it’s easy to lose touch with reality. It’s a lot easier to roll the dice and take risks. It’s easy to get comfortable. It’s also easy to tolerate people — people you wouldn’t tolerate under more challenging circumstances. Sustained success and abundance can mask and fog up a lot of things. Trust me.

In navigating the currents of my first truly challenging season in business and in leadership, I’ve quickly picked up some incredibly valuable lessons. Hard lessons. Lessons that I would’ve never been able to see if my dashboard was always blinding me with bright glowing green. Here are the five most critical lessons I’ve learned in recent months:

• What got you here won’t get you there. Change is a necessary constant if you want to evolve, stay healthy and be a sustainable business amidst today’s rapidly evolving global marketplace. Unfortunately, people are often part of the change that needs to happen in growing companies. In my business, we’ve averaged about 40% year-over-year growth throughout our 8 year history. It’s really hard to find people, especially leaders, who can keep up and grow with you at that kind of rate. It’s sad, but true. My friend, Bob Glazer of Acceleration Partners in Boston, explains this concept (and some solutions) really well here. (I highly recommend subscribing to Friday Forward, Bob’s weekly email on inspiration and practical insights for leaders. Subscribe here.)

• Leadership isn’t a popularity contest. Leadership is a hard, highly complex and nuanced job, that’s constantly under scrutiny, opinion and speculation. Shoe designer Tinker Hatfield once said, “If people don’t either love or hate your work, you haven’t done anything.” As a leader, one has to be clear and confident about their driving purpose, their values and their core leadership philosophy. And in these, you have to be willing to stand strong in the face of a storm, and make hard decisions. You must stand strong in the face of scrutiny and criticism and take action. Sometimes this is a fun and gratifying role where you’re announcing profit sharing, community giving and pay increases. Other times you may be telling a co-worker that their performance isn’t cutting it or announcing budget cuts and layoffs. You can’t have the good without the bad. It’s all part of the same job. And if you lead groups of people for very long, you’ll eventually find that some people will trust and love your work, your approach and your leadership style — and others will hate it. They may even hate you. I know I’ve got some haters. Getting comfortable with this fact of life is really difficult. And equally necessary. Leadership isn’t a popularity contest. The stronger and better you grow into your own leadership beliefs and philosophy, the more it will act like a strong magnet — a magnet that attracts and pulls in people who get it and resonate with it — and it will equally repel and strongly push away those who can’t stand it. Those who can’t stand you. Embrace your magnet.

“If people don’t either love or hate your work, you haven’t done anything.” - Tinker Hatfield

• It’s a business, not a social club. I’ve learned no matter how earnest my intentions may be to take care of our people and make our quality of life and flexibility a priority at my company — at the end of the day, everyone’s got to know it’s a business first and foremost. It’s not a social club. It’s not a friend group. And it’s not a social services office.  Community, friendship and a familial, supportive culture are the results of a strong, healthy, high functioning organization. We cannot lose sight that it’s a business first. Health and stability of the business precede everything else. Expectations should be set accordingly. 

• Identify the core DNA — the core internal operating principles that sparked your success in the first place and made you who you are. Protect it. Celebrate it. Etch it onto stone tablets. And never forget it. Jim Collins captures this wonderfully with his concept of a SMaC Recipe in his book, “Great By Choice.” The sooner a business and its leaders can identify, understand and uphold these core inner components that initially sparked their success and formed your identity, the better they’ll know what to fortify and defend when a storm comes.

• Always lead with Optimism and Fortitude, no matter how challenging or hard things may be. When I’m feeling overwhelmed, emotional or discouraged as a leader, I often reflect on an excerpt from Viktor Frankl’s memoir, “Man’s Search for Meaning” — his story of surviving the holocaust camps during World War II. Frankl writes, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” We always have the choice to choose our attitude. As leaders, we must choose optimism and fortitude, no matter the situation, reason or season. 

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” - Viktor Frankl

Perpetual change is an undeniable truth for any high growth company. To sit still, to slow down, or to be overly calm, steady and predictable in a business creates a great risk of complacency. And to become complacent in today’s business world is to hang a giant target on your back, inviting the competition to take you out and make you irrelevant. Growth, constant change, perpetual evolution, never-ending improvement and innovation are undeniable necessities in today’s business landscape. If these words make you twitch, then being part of a growing business might not be the best place for you. Just saying.

Just for a moment, let’s think about the symbiotic nature of these words: health, growth, and change.

In Hova’s “Most Kings” — he writes “Everybody look at you strange, say you changed. Like you work that hard just to stay the same?”  (He breaks it down further in an interview here)

“Everybody look at you strange, say you changed. Like you work that hard just to stay the same?” - Jay Z

Yes, I’ve changed. If we knew each other ten years ago, I hope you might see me today and see how much I’ve changed. That’s the point. That’s what I’m working on. Growth. Evolution. Self improvement. Constantly. Can’t stop. Won’t stop.

And as I grow, I’m always looking around, considering whom my fellow leaders are, and asking who’s with me? Who else wants to live into growth and lead people on a high growth rate? Like we work this hard just to stay the same?

Entrepreneur, artist and one of my good friends, Jenelle Isaacson, recently explained to me, “Everything that’s healthy grows. Things that aren’t healthy die.”  Let’s think about that for a moment…

And Catherine the Great put it another way: “That which does not grow, rots.”

Here’s to health. Here’s to growth. Here’s to change.

 RW

--> This essay is part of a series published in collaboration with The Western Writers League. Take a few minutes to explore my peers’s work as well.

The 10 Habit by Chris Corbin

Start Hard by Mario Schulzke

If Brett Kavanaugh applied for a job at my company. (A hiring process blueprint.)

Like many, I’ve been watching the ongoing developments about the future of the United States Supreme Court, and it’s clear to me the process is highly politicized, convoluted, and in no uncertain terms, very dysfunctional. No matter what political beliefs you hold, I imagine nearly everyone can agree the process has been hard to watch. Hard to stomach.

Setting all of the politics and the high dysfunction aside for a moment, I find it interesting to consider how things would play out if Brett Kavanaugh (or someone like him) applied for a job at my company. Here goes.

We have a deep, lengthy application and vetting process for job candidates at Marmoset. Maybe an understatement? It goes something like this:

Step 1: our HR Team reviews and vets candidates, narrowing things down to the top 20 or so. We’re pretty methodical with our application requirements, asking applicants to write an essay and speak to a variety of specific topics, giving us plenty to take in and consider. 

Step 2: the CEO further reviews and vets the top 20 or so candidates, digging deep into the realm of Purpose and Core Values alignment, narrowing things down to the top 5-10 candidates.

Step 3: the Team Leader for the role reviews and vets the remaining candidates, beginning with brief, introductory phone interviews.

Step 4: If you make it past the phone interviews, the next step is a first round of in-person interviews, focusing solely on alignment around our Purpose, our Core Values, and our Virtues. These are group interviews, with candidates appearing side-by-side with other candidates in groups of three — sitting across from three Marmoset employees. The Marmoset employees are selected from a variety of teams and roles, selected for their exemplary demonstration of exhibiting Marmoset’s Purpose, Core Values, and Virtues. Yes, three candidates on one side of the room and three Marmoset employees sitting across from them. It’s a fascinating human experiment. And we use score-carding to be as objective as possible, trying to remove gut feelings and “the feels” from the process.

For almost an hour, these six people engage in a variety of intentional questions and conversations. Then the three Marmoset employees each post up in different rooms, while the candidates do a round-robin rotation, spending about 20 minutes with each of them. Upon completion, the candidates go home and the Marmoset staff debrief together, led by our HR Director, comparing each person’s notes and score cards, eventually answering the question of whether or not they’d recommend each of the candidates to continue forward in the process. Some candidates move forward, some don’t.

Step 5: Next, we have a second round of similar in-person interviews, this time focusing on the specifics and functions of the actual role. These also happen as a group interview, again interviewing candidates in groups of three, interviewing with three Marmoset employees who work on the team we’re hiring for. As always, we use score-carding to be as objective as possible. Some move forward, some don’t.

Step 6: The final step in our process is identifying finalists and meticulously checking their references. Sometimes we end up with as many as 3 finalists, though often it’s one or two. If you succeed the reference checks, the Team Leader (hiring manager), with input and support from the HR Director, makes their case for their top candidate, and the CEO make the final approval.

Clearly we subscribe to the “be slow to hire” approach. And in case it’s not clear, at my company Core Values and Virtues trump talent and experience. This has been paramount to our success in hiring some of the best people on the planet. Props to Patrick Lencioni for teaching me that. His books The Five Dysfunctions of a Team and The Ideal Team Player are leadership masterpieces for getting super clear about people.

It’s also worth noting, that throughout our entire application and candidating process we work to follow the Topgrading methodology, using score-carding of candidates in an attempt to be as objective as possible, in what can often be a “feeling-based,” subjective process. I’m also a big fan of hiring methods outlined in the book “Who” by Geoff Smart and Randy Street.

Okay. So if Brett Kavanaugh was a candidate for a role at Marmoset, he probably wouldn’t make it through the first two steps of our process, because “humility” is one of our Core Virtues, and clearly Mr. Kavanaugh doesn’t rate very high in terms of humility.

But if he did somehow make it to the third step of our process — the phone interview, I can’t imagine any of our Team Leaders (who’d be hiring for the role) would approve of him, as he clearly comes off as arrogant, angry and entitled. We’ve all witnessed this on live TV. RIght? These qualities would not be welcome at our organization.

That said, if he somehow found some way to “perform well” for the phone interview, there’s no way he’d survive the in-person group interviews, because… well, because we’ve all seen how he does in person. Enough said. 

Now let’s skip to the end of our process, and just for fun, let’s hypothetically say that somehow, by miracle or otherwise, Mr. Kavanaugh makes it to the reference check part of the process. And now let’s insert the real life scenario of candidate Kavanaugh — someone shares an allegation of sexual assault. And then, not just one person, but more people speak up, sharing similar allegations and experiences. 

Clearly, this is a no-brainer. I don’t care how qualified or talented someone is — if you’ve got sexual assault allegations of any kind, you’re done. Arrogance, anger, entitlement and politics aside — it’s game over the second someone mentions sexual assault. No judge or jury or due process needed. Remember, this is a job interview — not a court of law. Nothing needs to be proven here. If one single person, let alone several people, come forward to share experiences of sexual assault, you’re not getting the job. You’re not getting any more of our time. Byeeeeee.

So why on Earth is an asshole like Brett Kavanaugh being considered for the United State Supreme Court? 

Good question. Sadly, I think the answer is best summed-up here.

If you don’t have 5 minutes to read the essay, here’s the jist of it:

“On Thursday, a man who has been accused of sexual misconduct by two women, and who has been nominated for a position on the Supreme Court by a President accused of sexual misconduct by twenty women, will attempt to persuade eleven Republican men that he deserves that position—a position that would give him the authority to help decide, among other things, what options are available to women if they get pregnant after being sexually assaulted.”

The sad, discouraging truth of the matter is, the white supremacy patriarchy still stands strong in the United States of America. For now anyways…

Which brings me to this brilliant Tweet a friend shared with me this week:

Let’s revolt.

- RW

Purpose and Time

Purpose and Time are two very connected concepts for me. While time is infinite as a universal element or concept, time is finite for humans. Time is the only resource in the entire universe one can never get more of, no matter how hard you try, no matter how privileged or lucky you may be. When one day or one hour or even one of life's precious moments passes — it’s gone forever. You can never get it back. You can never make or manufacture more time. 

And so I wonder —  why aren’t we more intentional with our time? Why don’t we aim to make our time spent roaming this planet, among our friends, our loved ones and our community, deeper, more meaningful, and more impactful? Why do I spend more time seeing live music than I do working on a plan and purpose for my life? Why do I spend more time watching sports than I do planning out the year ahead for me and my family? What's going on? And what does it mean? 

From the earliest age I can remember, I lived my life in one of two modes: survival mode or bootstrap mode. Growing up in a dysfunctional family, with varying degrees of drama and abuse on the regular, survival mode and bootstrapping was how I learned to navigate the world. My biological father was (and still is) absent — a lifetime addict, narcissist, and just not a safe person for me. My mother spent her life in super co-dependent relationships. As it turns out, she lived her life with a closet full of secrets. And later in life, as the secrets eventually came out, she unraveled. Amidst her co-dependency, secrets and dysfunction, she drank herself to death. I had a couple of step fathers too. Both were abusive, but in different ways. One was more physical and at times pretty scary, while the other was mostly just loud and threatening. Fun stuff. 

Thankfully I did have two amazing sets of grandparents who all lived nearby and were very involved in my childhood and early life.  My grandparents, and a few others, were a light for me. They gave me a sense of safety and hope. They modeled strong values and they encouraged me to be great.

All of this to say — the idea of having a purpose for my life wasn’t anywhere on my radar. I was trying to not get hit in the face while eating dinner. The idea of having a purpose never even entered my mind… and I would wager there’s a lot of kids out there like me.  I mean, I didn’t take SAT or ACT tests in high school. I honestly believed community college was the only option for me. That’s literally what my mom and step dad told me. But I digress. 

The truth is, I’ve come to realize that I’ve lived most of my life, or at least the first 35 plus years of it, without any real purpose or intention. It’s hard to have purpose when survival and bootstrapping is all you know.  And as I reflect back today, I see my first 35 years sort of like a boat without a rudder. I was headed in various directions and trying really, really hard to do stuff — but I was getting blown around by the winds of circumstance and I was getting carried here and there by the currents of life. I woke up each day, going through the motions of life, doing most of the things I thought I needed to do — but without any real plan or purpose. Simply put, I had some dreams — some dreams about what I wanted to do with my life. But dreams without an actual plan are just dreams. 

And so about a year ago I decided to get serious about this stuff. Over the past 12 months I’ve devoted most of my time and focus to developing and understanding who I am, and more specifically, what my core values and my highest purpose are. I’ve gone so deep into this stuff that I recently created an operating manual for my life. Sounds pretty nerdy, right? 

The operating manual is a relatively simple, two page document, where I declare who I am and outline my state of being. It includes a Purpose statement, clearly describing my highest level of intention. I’ve also developed my own core values to help act as a compass and help guide important decisions I have to make. I’ve created a list of the key activities and disciplines I need to regularly practice in order to be healthy, well, and to be in “good” operating condition. Things like how much sleep and exercise I need, and how much time away in nature with my family I need, how much alone time I need, meditation, etc. It also has a few photos of Jeana and the kids, for the full visualization effect. Like this:

The operating manual also includes a brief, two paragraph bio, describing my history — my upbringing, how my operating system was initially programmed when I was a child, what my journey has been like thus far, and what I intend to change and do differently, as I grow and evolve forward in life.

And lastly, I’ve made a list of a few things I want to do or accomplish during my existence on this planet — a bucket list, for lack of better words. Things like run half marathons, slay big fish with a fly rod, write a book that helps people, build a company that contributes positivity and good to the community and to the world. I also want to see my grandchildren graduate from college (while holding Jeana's hand), and live abroad for a year with Jeana. Raising two kids into healthy, functional, wise, free thinking and independent adults is also at the top of my list.

And if that isn’t nerdy enough for you, I spend 3-5 minutes reading this operating manual — every single day. It’s the first thing I do every morning. It helps me get centered and focused for the day ahead and gives me intention for what I will do with my day.

For more than 30 years I never thought much about these sort of things — purpose, intention, and the interconnectedness of purpose and time. But now I find myself a little older, and maybe a little wiser, and I have this new awareness of how finite time truly is. And I have this new realization that living life without purpose and intention is sort of like hiking without a trail, or traveling without a destination. 

And so I’ve installed a rudder on this boat — and I look forward to all of the possibilities, experiences and destinations I intend to explore. 

A smart person once said, “If you talk about it, it’s a dream. If you envision it, it’s possible. But if you schedule it, it’s real.” 

Keep it real, y’all. 

RW

--> This essay is part of a new series published in collaboration with The Western Writers League. It would mean a lot to me if you took the time to read my peers’s works as well.

Why I Play by Chris Corbin

Drive by Mario Schulzke

The Journey of Diversity in the Workplace

All Hands, an office life publication, recently interviewed me about my journey in making matters of diversity, equity and inclusivity a priority in my business. We discuss why diversity matters to me, in addition to the challenges I face in moving beyond words and actually putting it into practice. As someone who identifies as a straight, white male of privilege, living in a predominantly white community, I have inherent blind spots and challenges within me -- both as a person and as a leader.  To read the full interview click here.